I can be a real jackass sometimes

I hate that about myself.

I think that, sometimes, there are things about other people that I don't know how to deal with. I don't know how to deal with their loss or with their pain or with their moods or their confusion. So... I act like a jerk. Mostly this is just with the people that I'm really close to.

But... it occurred to me last night that I might take it too far. Yes, i want you to get help for your problems. Yes, i think that you're making yourself live in misery because you won't really deal with what's going on. Yes, that sucks. So... I'm going to be a jerk to you and maybe you'll decide I'm right?

I think my logic is flawed.
But, perhaps even more pressing, I think that I do it because it allows me to convince myself that I don't really care about the other person.
"Fine, have your shit and don't get help-- whatever." And I try to convince myself (under the guise of "tough love" or something equally eye-roll inducing) that what he/she/they need most is someone who's not going to lie, someone who will give it to them straight.

I can be a real jerk.
I hate that in myself.
And I'm sorry to you. And you. And you, too.